Downs of Deep Moments…

Finally I am able to pick my parts together and pull myself to be sitting here and writing again… Looking back I don’t believe how much of ups and downs I went through… this post is really much related to the previous one…

First, let me tell you… When I posted "Are you ready?" My mum's older sister was on bed straggling with her illness and by 1^st April 2010 we tragedy lost her… I got the news over the phone can't forget the moment, it was 10am and I was with mum at the hospital as she was hospitalized and operated on the previous day. She was still under 48 hrs observation.

Could you get it, could you get the pressure… I had to hide the news from mum, handle the tragedy and yet act normal and make sure all do not tell her.. She was more than a sister to mum.. She was a mother to her… and she was as a second mother to me as well… She was just amazing … Allah yer7amha we yagamed ro7ha el gana inshallah..

I don’t remember crying… On the same afternoon, she was moved to her private room, doctors advised not to be told as her pressure was not yet stable… On the next day night her brother and sister came to tell her… we were four in the room and my heart start fasting… I could even hear the bits… I could not imagine how she could take the news…

Alhamdullah, she was strong and my uncle did his assignment in the best level anyone could do.

I am sorry.. I must stop by now, hope will come back soon to complete the downs I went through… Miss you my readers, hope you are still there and I am still remembered…

TO BE CONTINUED…

Are you ready?

Ever since I hear that someone is in a serious health condition, I get myself into emotional and mental readiness of the possibility to lose that person…

Is that normal behavior, dose anyone go through that out there?… I find it so weird, I even imagine how life will be if I lose my family, friends anyone… it could be a person who is currently in a complete good health. Some times its comes from what others around me go through, for example; I was just visiting a girl who I work with and just lost her mum last week, after I left, kept thinking and imagine myself being in her shoe it felt like keeping myself ready if this might happen one day…

Mum could be sooo concerned from her relatives who go through illness, and I will come… telling myself if he/she die, then it's their time… we all are going to die one day…

Will you call my thoughts strange again? Sometimes I can't believe myself saying that… I am not sure if it's coming from the fact of being Muslim OR from being a cold sole… Or maybe just being rational…

I am really confused, I am not sure how disturbing emotionally I become when these thoughts cross my mind…

Anyhow, I know one thing… No one could ever be ready of death, not around not ourselves…