Are you ready?

Ever since I hear that someone is in a serious health condition, I get myself into emotional and mental readiness of the possibility to lose that person…

Is that normal behavior, dose anyone go through that out there?… I find it so weird, I even imagine how life will be if I lose my family, friends anyone… it could be a person who is currently in a complete good health. Some times its comes from what others around me go through, for example; I was just visiting a girl who I work with and just lost her mum last week, after I left, kept thinking and imagine myself being in her shoe it felt like keeping myself ready if this might happen one day…

Mum could be sooo concerned from her relatives who go through illness, and I will come… telling myself if he/she die, then it's their time… we all are going to die one day…

Will you call my thoughts strange again? Sometimes I can't believe myself saying that… I am not sure if it's coming from the fact of being Muslim OR from being a cold sole… Or maybe just being rational…

I am really confused, I am not sure how disturbing emotionally I become when these thoughts cross my mind…

Anyhow, I know one thing… No one could ever be ready of death, not around not ourselves…

When Dreams COME TRUE…

I am not sure if its a gift or a curse, this thing is happening to me for years now … i guess i was living in deny that it could be true but now i reached to the point …. its so real ….

How could i put this here … hmmm no idea, but will just try my BEST…

The thing is.. no wait … before i start you mast know that i am such of dreamer girl, i would of imagine lots of things… and it will go on to the extreme… i could spend days dreaming of something and thinking of the smallest details…

So the thing is whatever i dream for myself, will exactly happen to someone else who i know … DAM the same thing in the same way with the same ppl to the small details…

And the worst part is … they never happened to me … DAAAAAM :(

I remember two years back, i was thinking of making this move of career at work, dreaming to be promoted as a section head of the new section i want to move to, and kept dreaming and dreaming for some days… after that i went for my annual leave … and as soon i came back … surprise surprise …. my coworker got promoted to be a section head and was moved to another section … (by the way, she never knew my dreams) …

And again and again the same things throw out my life, especially for the past two years…

Dose this ever happened to you?

As mach as i am happy for all this ppl in my life, as mach there is this small pain inside me feeling that someone stole my dream …